Black Christmas
by merlins-most-dirty-pants
Summary: Sirius left his family for good at the age of sixteen. But one last Christmas with his cousins and little brother shows him he is not the only one torn and confused.  Featuring Bellatrix, Narcissa, Andromeda and Regulus. T for naughty little Blacks
1. Chapter 1

**Black Christmas**

Disclaimer: I _own nothing. All character and ideas belong originally to JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing for a little bit of fun.  
>I hope you'll have fun as well.<em>

Note: _This is my version of the last time Sirius spent with his family. In book five he tells Harry he moved out when he was sixteen, so here's how it could have happened.  
>In this fiction Sirius is 16 (year 6), Regulus is 14 (year 4), Bellatrix is 18 years old, Andromeda is the same as Sirius and Narcissa is 15 and in her 5<em>_th__ year in Hogwarts.  
>By the way, I do like Regulus and Narcissa is one of my favorite side-characters, but this is how Sirius sees them, so I guess they're not all too likable here<em>

**Chapter 1 – Nasty news**

Sirius felt a lot like just jumping down that damn Astronomy tower. It was Christmas time, the school grounds were all white and the lake was frozen. The typical cheerful, relaxed end of term atmosphere was in the air.  
>"It's too bad you can't come along, Padfoot" James said dully as they strolled down the grounds towards the Hogwarts Express. "Damn what got into that crazy hag that calls herself your mother? She never asked you to come home for Christmas since - I don't know, 3rd grade?"<br>Sirius shrugged. "Maybe she wants to torture me."  
>"Or she forgot about you being a shame for the family and a blood traitor and all.", offered Remus in a weak attempt to cheer him up.<br>"Not in this life, Moony, no. She will probably lecture me the whole time about the pureblood way of life and give me a lovely autograph of the Dark Lord as a present… if I am lucky. Anyway, say thanks to your parents for inviting me.", he added to James.  
>"No problem", reassured his best friend, "they love you."<p>

Sirius' mood sank lower and lower as the train left his school far behind and creped nearer and nearer towards the most horrible place in the world, Grimauld Place 12.  
>As always when Sirius thought things couldn't get worse, something really displeasing happened. His brother. Regulus wasn't as spiteful as their mother, or as fanatic as their father, not half as nasty and dumb as most of his Slytherin friends. He was worse. He did everything those people told him to do. It sometimes seemed to Sirius like his brother didn't even have an own opinion. The character traits Sirius most hated were cowardice and bootlicking and both seemed to be all his brother was made of.<br>Now Regulus stood in their compartment door having a sour look on his face, showing that he could image lots of places where he would rather be.  
>"Mom just sent an owl." He mumbled.<br>"Can't she wait another hour till she sees her favorite sonny-boy?" Sirius asked him spitefully. James and Peter laughed.  
>Regulus chose to ignore his older brother's comment. "She wrote we should get the Knightbus to Hampshire."<br>"What the hell are we supposed to do in Hampshire? I thought we would spent Christmas in that dirty hole we call our h- ". Then it dawned on him. "No way in freakin' hell! Don't tell me we are going to spend Christmas at-"  
>"…Black Manor. Yes we are. Auntie and Uncle invited us for the holidays." Regulus didn't look too pleased himself but seeing his older brother so freaked out made him grin a little bit. "Ah I almost forgot the good news", he added with a true Slytherin smirk, "There is something that will sweeten your stay and cheer you up." Sirius watched his brother with a quizzical and doubtful look. What else was there to come?<br>"_She_ just came back from her trip and will spend the holidays with her family. I bet you long to see her, huh? After more than a year of being separated…" Regulus shut the door a bit too forceful and walked away to sit yet again with the other Slytherins.

James and Peter looked rather worried at Sirius' horrified expression without having a clue who Regulus had been talking about. Only Remus sighed sympathetically "So she's back? I was so relieved when she finished school two years ago." he said while Sirius turned paler and paler at the prospect of being locked inside a house for more than a week with this insane woman. "I am going to die"  
>"Normally I would say you are overreacting but under these circumstances…" Moony admitted, "I'll have to agree. Bellatrix <em>is<em> a crazy bitch."

Stepping onto platform 9 ¾ felt like taking the first step up to his executioner to Sirius. He said a hasty goodbye to his friends and left as fast as possible because their constant sympathy just made him feel worse. Regulus was waiting at the barrier accompanied by their cousin Andromeda. Andromeda was still wearing school ropes, a shiny Slytherin prefect badge gleaming on her chest. Her wild and long, dark hair and lean figure made her look a lot like her older sister, but her face was softer and her eyes warmer. Sirius actually got along quite well with Andromeda. She was in his year and even though they never talked in public or hang out together after classes, she was always polite and civil towards him and his friends. She even let him copy her herbology essays from time to time. She gave him a small smile as he approached feeling somehow uneasy.  
>"We're just waiting for Cissy." Andromeda told him with an annoyed tone. "She should be here any minute." Right, Sirius thought grimly. How could he forget Narcissa. She was probably the vainest and most arrogant slut Hogwarts had ever seen. Always surrounded by friends and admirers, she walked the castle like she was its princess.<br>"There she is", Regulus called out, sounding quite excited. Sirius followed his brother's gaze and found his youngest cousin making her way through a crowd of people, every now and then hugging someone goodbye or striding arrogantly past some poor Hufflepuff boys who tried to hand her some early Christmas presents. She was quite a looker, Sirius had to admit that. Though slightly younger than Andromeda she was already taller than her, her slim figure moving gracefully, while her long and sleek blonde hair was flying behind her.  
>"Let's go!", she commanded when she reached them, handing her suitcase without another word to Regulus (who seemed kind of glad to help her) and walked ahead through the barrier like a queen with her courtiers.<p>

It was already getting dark outside as the four teenagers made their way out of the station and into a lonely alley. "Well let's call the Knightbus then." Andromeda sighed and pulled out her wand.  
>"Wait a moment." Narcissa muttered and hastily scanned the area.<br>"We're all alone, don't get jumpy." Andromeda sighed irritated.  
>"It's so embarrassing!", wailed Narcissa, losing her cool. "We're supposed to be pure bloods, nobility." Sirius rolled his eyes and Andromeda as well chose to ignore her sister and lit up the tip of her wand, waving it.<br>"I agree, Cissy." Regulus said eagerly. Sirius tried very hard not to laugh aloud. His brother was so talentless when it came to girls.  
>"Yes.", she went on tossing her blonde hair back. "We should be picked up and brought to the manor. Riding the Knightbus always makes me sick. The Blacks are a rich family after all, they could really send a car to get us."<br>"They were rich." Andromeda corrected. "It's just a name, You know very well there is no damned money left. So will you two just shut up about it and –". Her last words were drowned by the huge bus suddenly appearing with the loud screeching of brakes.

The ride on the Knightbus was quite uneventful. Narcissa continued to complain silently about this very "muggle-style, second class" way of traveling and Regulus wasted no time in telling her she was completely right. Sirius sat next to Andromeda who filled him in on what had happened in the Black family in the last few months. He wasn't really interested in it, but was glad to be able to talk to Andromeda since she would be the only sane person he would meet in the next days. He started to pay attention when she told him what Bellatrix had been up to the last two years.  
>"She is worse you know." She said in a low voice. "I mean she always was fanatic but now… she officially joined the Deatheaters. You've heard of them, haven't you?"<br>Sirius nodded darkly. Oh yes, he had heard of them. Some years ago the rumors had started spreading – the rumors about a certain dark wizard, who called himself Lord Voldemort. Sirius knew that many of the Slytherins his age planned to join the ranks of his followers. It had become some kind of trend.  
>"Do you know that Lestrange bloke?" Andromeda asked him.<br>"Some tall dark guy, who was Slytherin prefect when we were in first year? Yes, I think so. What about him?"  
>"Well", Andromeda started, "his father was one of the first Deatheaters and he always had a little crush on Bella…"<br>"He's got to be mental." Sirius interrupted. Having a crush on his deranged cousin was pretty much the sickest thing he could imagine.  
>"No he's not mental." Narcissa stated from behind them.<br>"Cissy, no one asked to hear your opinion." Andromeda retorted annoyed.  
>Narcissa chose to ignore her older sister. "Rudolphus is his first name. He is extremely handsome. Bella met him again after she finished school because they both went to learn high level dark arts from an Arabian magician. He is in love with her." She added in a tone that suggested it would be highly unlikely to not be in love with her sister.<br>"Whatever.", said Andromeda cutting across Narcissa before she could elaborate on Rudolphus' feelings for the oldest Black girl. "The fact is, that he will join us on Christmas Eve because mum and dad are just thrilled. He is pure blood, rich and a Deatheater. What more could they hope for? The perfect match for their golden girl." Andromeda rolled her eyes, but smiled nevertheless. "I can't wait until they marry. I'd love to be bridesmaid. I always wanted to be one."  
>Sirius gave her a freaked out look. "What?", she snapped. "I like weddings, even if the groom is some freaky dark wizard. Who cares."<br>Sirius sighed silently. There was the proof, that his favorite cousin was a Slytherin after all. Nothing mattered as long as she got what she wanted.

_So this is Chapter One. The whole thing will probably have 5 to 7 chapters, I'm not sure yet. If you liked it, please review, if you didn't, please review anyway and tell me what I've done wrong. Thanks!_


	2. There's nothing like Family

_Thanks to those who have reviewed! I really do appreciate it. Unfortunately I can only reply to signed reviews, so if you ask questions, it would be helpful to log in : )  
>This chapter isn't really long, the next one will be longer! Please tell me what you think.<em>

**Chapter 2 - There's nothing like family**

By the time they arrived in Hampshire Sirius was very hungry. As much as he disliked his uncle's residence, with all its pompous pure-blood furniture and nasty inhabitants, the house elf in charge of cooking, really knew what he was doing. Sirius hoped his uncle hadn't beheaded him yet; it was something he tended to do quite often.  
>The Knightbus came to a very sudden halt, which send Andromeda's suitcase flying. While Sirius and Regulus helped their cursing cousin pick up her things, Narcissa complained to the conductor. Unfortunately he didn't seem to take in a word she was saying, since he was too busy staring at her cleavage. Narcissa ended up jinxing him. Sirius was pretty impressed by the purple spots spelling 'pervert' across his face.<br>"A counter-jinx, Cissy, now!" Andromeda hissed, when she saw the unhappy conductor.  
>"He deserved it. And I complained for your sake in the first place!" Narcissa spat back.<br>The continued to bicker all the way up to the iron gates where their parents awaited them. Walpurga Black, Sirius' and Regulus' mother was standing next to her brother, greeting her them with one of her sour, little smiles. After she had hugged her younger son and given Sirius a short nod, she faced her older niece. "Andromeda, I haven't seen you for such a long time, my girl. You're looking just like your older sister, very beautiful. And your mother told me you are now captain of the Slytherin Quidditch Team. Whoever you will marry, will be a very lucky wizard!"  
>Andromeda's smile was perfectly gracious and haughty as she kissed her aunt on both cheeks in greeting, but Sirius saw that her fists were clenched at her sides.<br>His uncle engaged Regulus, who was seeker in Andromeda's team, in a conversation about Slytherin's chance on winning the cup this year and his aunt and mother continued to fuss about Andromeda, as the party moved up to the manor.  
>Sirius found himself walking next to Narcissa, who was staring at the snowy path ahead of them apparently lost in thought. "That was a pretty cool spell." Sirius didn't even know why he said it. Narcissa was such a bitch, really, but right now she seemed somehow lonely. His blonde cousin looked up at him and frowned. Sirius could see that she thought he was making fun of her.<br>"Well, hello, if this isn't my cute little sister and the filthy blood-traitor!" Sirius' head snapped up. Leaning to a statue, wearing a long dark red cloak, snow-flakes melting in her shiny black hair, stood Bellatrix. She smiled broadly. Sixteen years of life-experience had taught Sirius that a smiling Bellatrix was never good news. Not that a non-smiling Bellatrix had ever done him any good.  
>"Bella! Finally!" Narcissa threw herself at her sister, squealing. Bellatrix patted her sister's back absentmindedly; her eyes were still on Sirius. "I must say, I'm impressed that you still dare to show your face around here. Are you still that Potter boy's little lapdog?"<br>Sirius shifted his feet uneasily. His cousin had used the word 'lapdog', but she couldn't possibly know that he was an animagus. He pulled himself together and smiled sarcastically. "I've to say, I'm also impressed, Bella. I never thought there was someone out there, insane enough to marry you."  
>Narcissa let go of her sister and shot Sirius a filthy look, but Bellatrix just smiled.<br>"Ah, there's nothing like family, is there, little Sirius?, she said, "I'm really looking forward to this Christmas."

To his relief Sirius found out that the cooking elf had not been beheaded and that his skills in the kitchen were as good as ever. The first two courses went by uneventfully and no one paid Sirius much attention, for which he was quite thankful. His aunt and mother gossiped about a scandalous marriage made by some Prewett relative, his uncle gave Regulus and Andromeda some career-advice and Bellatrix told Narcissa and Sirius' father about her year abroad and the up-coming marriage with Rudolphus. Every now and then his mother made a snide comment addressed to him, but otherwise he was pretty much left alone.  
>Sirius was just starting to feel bored, when the doors opened and three tiny house-elves brought in the main course. It looked magnificent.<br>"This is of course nothing." he heard his aunt boast, "Just wait until you see what I've planned for Christmas Eve, Orion."  
>Sirius picked up the goblet of streaming hot met, one house-elf had just put in front of him. He put it to his mouth and then suddenly froze. Something was wrong. The steam rising form the liquid was oddly silver. Potions had never been his favorite subject at all, but he recognized this silver vapor. Poison. He put the goblet down and looked up. Bellatrix was watching him attentively. "I see your instincts are as good as ever.", she stated conversationally.<br>"You evil slut", Sirius hissed across the table. "I would be plain stupid to let my guard down around a sick freak like you."  
>She grinned. "Yes you would. But it was worth a try; you Gryffindors have never been the world's greatest thinkers after all."<br>"What is the matter?" His mother had joined the conversation. _Great, just great_.  
>"Oh nothing.", Sirius said, his voice heavy with irony. "Darling Bella just tried to poison me, but otherwise I'm having the time of my life, thanks mother."<br>"Don't you talk to me like that, boy!", his mother flared up at once. "You little brat! What have I done to deserve such an unthankful, foul-mouthed blood traitor as a son? Apologize at once to your cousin for telling such a nasty lie!"  
>Sirius held his mother's deranged gaze for a few seconds, then he got up. "I'm going to bed."<br>"This is the best idea you had today, son." Orion Black said in his deep, dark voice. "We are guests in this house. I do not wish for you to disturb our family reunion with any of your nonsense." The angry retort was already on the tip of Sirius' tongue, when Andromeda got to her feet beside him. He felt her hand tightening around his wrist. "I'll show him his room. If you'll excuse me" She gave her father her well rehearsed pure-blood smile, her nails digging themselves painfully into Sirius' arm. Cygnus Black nodded and then turned to resume a conversation with his wife.

Sirius followed Andromeda upstairs into one of the big guest-rooms, decorated in the Slytherin colors. "Don't do that!", she snapped as soon as she had closed the door behind her. Her angry brown eyes were reflecting the flames dancing in the fireplace in the left-hand corner of the room.  
>"Don't do what?", her retorted just as angrily.<br>Andromeda frowned at him. "You know exactly what I mean", she hissed, "you are not even trying. We could actually have something remotely like a nice time, but you always have to mess things up!"  
>Sirius could hardly believe his ears. "Your mad sister poisoned my drink!"<br>Andromeda looked annoyed. "You know what she's like."  
>"That's not a good excuse.", Sirius snarled. "And anyway, don't be such a little hypocrite, Andromeda!"<br>Her eyes flashed dangerously. "What did you call me?" He saw her hand twitching and knew she was tempted to pull out her wand and hex him.  
>"A hypocrite!", he replied evenly, her anger somehow calmed him down. "Admit it. You hate the lot of them just as much as I do. You are just scared to say it aloud. You are probably afraid that mummy and daddy won't buy you any new, pretty dress-ropes for Christmas if you don't behave –" BANG. Andromeda's hex only narrowly missed him. Sirius nevertheless stumbled in his attempt to get out of harm's way and fell to the floor. His cousin stood towering over him, shaking with fury, her wand still pointing directly at his chest. He stared into her usually kind and alert brown eyes, now narrowed in rage and glinting with angry tears. After a few seconds Andromeda broke their eye contact and left the room, slamming the door behind her.<p>

_Did it turn out well? I'm never satisfied with my arguments in fanfiction. Please tell me what you think! Thanks._


	3. Don't screw with Bellatrix

_Again, thanks a lot for the reviews! I really do appreciate them._

A **warning** about this chapter: _This chapter contains some romantic (though this word is kind of wrong in this case) action between cousins. These naughty purebloods… well anyway, I won't rate this story M just because of the hints in this chapter, I just want to warn those of you who might be offended by it._

**Chapter 3 - Don't screw with Bellatrix **

When Sirius woke up the next day, it took him some time to remember why he felt so miserable. Well, why he felt more miserable then you usually feel, waking up to find yourself staring at the words 'toujours pure' stitched onto your pillow. His favorite cousin, the only one he had thought would help him survive this holiday, hated him.  
>The fact that he still thought he was right, didn't really help. What was wrong with that girl? Like she didn't despise her sisters and parents and their whole fanatic nonsense; but she just ignored it. Just thinking about it made him angry again.<p>

The moment Sirius left his room, he wished he hadn't. There were house elves running back and forth, decorating every piece of furniture they could reach and as he tried to dodge an especially tiny elf carrying a box twice its size, he bumped into Andromeda. The look she gave him made it very clear that she was still just as angry as he was. Without a word to him she strode down the stairs, chin up, in Black fashion.  
>"Oh no, looks like our dream team had a row." A voice cooed from the other end of the corridor. Bellatrix came walking towards him, wrapped into a green dressing gown. Why had he got up in the first place? Sirius sighed.<br>"Shut up, Bella."  
>"Don't let your mummy hear that", Bellatrix said in a mock whisper, "or she will get very angry with her naughty little boy. <em>You'll better be nice to your darling older cousin.<em>" She smiled sarcastically. "And by the way", she added, her voice suddenly slightly threatening, "I hope you haven't been an asshole to my sister. She seemed rather upset. Though I guess it's a good thing if she stops defending you."  
>Sirius said nothing. He just gave Bellatrix one of his ugliest looks (which made younger students cry, but had seemingly no effect on his cousin) and went downstairs to find some breakfast.<p>

Sirius managed to avoid his relatives until midday by taking extra long to defrost the paths of the manor's park. It was freaking cold, but he'd rather freeze outside, than be inside with a moody Regulus, a bitchy Narcissa, a sulky Andromeda and an insane Bellatrix.

At last he was hungry again and grudgingly reentered the house. He asked a house elf for something to eat and sat down in the drawing room, watching his aunt giving orders concerning the Christmas tree decorations. When Andromeda joined her mother a few minutes later she completely ignored Sirius.  
>The house elf returned with pasties, sandwiches and hot chocolate and Sirius considered sneaking up to his room to hide there for the rest of the day, when Narcissa came in.<br>She was looking very beautiful. Her hair was in an elegant bun on top of her head with a few curls falling down to her shoulders. She was wearing very pretty blue dress ropes with silver ornaments, matching her eyes. "Andy, I bought this last summer, remember? How do I look? I thought about wearing it tonight." She looked expectantly at her older sister.  
>Andromeda didn't even look up from her task of bewitching the candles so that they would hover in midair. "Can't you see I'm busy, Cissy?", she sighed.<br>Her mother gave Narcissa a disapproving look. "Darling, can't you do something useful for a change? Or at least please don't stand in anybody's way."  
>"Now, Irma, don't be so harsh.", Sirius' father called from the hallway as he walked by. "Your daughter is such a pretty little thing, I'm sure that will prove to be very useful. Run along, Cissy, let your mother and sister do their work."<br>For a moment Narcissa looked like she'd like to yell, but then she caught sight of Sirius. She rearranged her face, gave him a scornful look and swept from the room.

Sirius left shortly after her, before anyone could point out his own uselessness. He spent some time hiding in the kitchen, watching the house elves outdo themselves. He remembered glumly that Bellatrix's fiancé Rudolphus Lestrange was invited for tonight's dinner; no wonder his family was working extra hard to impress. A deatheater in the second generation was the last thing he needed on Christmas Eve.  
>He finished the tea the house elves had made for him and set out for his room to pass the time until dinner. Sirius just had decided he would write a letter full of self-pity to James, when he heard raised voices. He stopped outside the door of the ancient Black library, the whole pride of his uncle. Bellatrix's voice was as always only too easy to recognize. "C'mon, try again. You have to fight it with all your might. Pull yourself together, now!" Sirius pressed his ear against the door. "I'm trying, Bella, I'm really trying. I just can't do it." This was Narcissa, though not her proud and bitchy self. She sounded exhausted, even a bit afraid.<br>"You have to practice! Let's try it again. _Imperio!_"  
>Sirius burst into the room. Narcissa was doing some weird kind of dance, while Bellatrix's wand was pointed directly at her. "What the hell are you doing?"<br>Bellatrix lifted her wand and Narcissa stopped her strange dance. "Practicing.", she said with her wide, sickly sweet smile.  
>"Are you insane? She is your sister! That's an unforgivable curse."<br>Bellatrix sighed theatrically. "Calm down, little mudblood-lover. I'm helping her, right Cissy? Watch and learn." She raised her wand again. "I_mperio!_ Now Narcissa", she whispered with a cruel little smirk, "why don't you take off your clothes?"  
>And very slowly, with trembling hands, apparently fighting the curse with all her willpower, Narcissa started to take off her dress robes.<br>For a moment Sirius just stared in horror, while Bellatrix started to laugh.  
>Then he slapped her. Hard enough to make her raised wand fall out of her hand, landing clattering on the floor. Bellatrix stared at the floor in shock for a moment and then turned her head to face Sirius, livid, with a murderous glare in her eyes. Narcissa gasped in horror. "Out, Cissy." Bellatrix said cooly. Narcissa didn't need to be told twice, she rushed out of the door with a last worried glance at her sister and cousin.<br>"How dare you touch me, filthy blood traitor!", Bellatrix snarled and before Sirius could react she had flung herself at him, so that his wand, as well, flew out of his hand. They hit the floor with a thud. Bellatrix was on top of him scratching, biting and punching every bit of him she could reach. It did hurt quite a lot. She was rough, no girly fighter. But she was still a girl. Even though she was in a better position, he could overpower her with not too much effort. Sirius pushed her away and rolled over, changing their positions. After some more time of struggling and fighting he managed to fix his cousin's arms with one of his hands above her head.  
>Bellatrix spat at his face.<br>"Charming as always." He panted, completely out of breath.  
>"Let me go.", she hissed with a threatening low voice and viciously gleaming eyes.<br>"Or else?" Sirius mocked.  
>"Or else you will be really, really sorry." Bellatrix answered and Sirius knew she meant it. "Why did you do that, crazy bitch? She is your damn sister. What the hell is wrong with you?"<br>Bellatrix chuckled at his stern expression. "Some only learn through pain and practice.", she answered calmly. She giggled again. "The same goes apparently for you, dear Sirius."  
>"You're sick. Doing this to your own sister and enjoying yourself." Sirius stared at the girl beneath him in revulsion.<br>"Don't hide behind your false Gryffindor morals." Bellatrix snarled. "I saw you while I was still at school. How you enjoyed tormenting pitiful Severus Snape with your little gang of friends. And even now your eyes were fixed on Cissy. One part of you wished I would have continued."  
>"Unlike you, I can suppress my bad side. The sorting head chose me to be a Gryffindor and that's what I am."<br>"It isn't your bad side you are suppressing. It's your Black side, it's what you really are; and _now let me go_!", she shrieked.  
>"Oh hell no, I won't." She tried to kick him but Sirius fixated her legs with his knees, slamming her flat back on the ground. Bella grimaced in pain but she kept herself from making any sound. "I'm ordering you one last time: Let me go and curse you until you don't recognize your face anymore."<br>"Very tempting offer, Bella, but I like my face, thanks. And I don't think you would do it, it's a Black face after all."  
>Bellatrix laughed coldly. "So now you are a Black again, are you? That's not working. You can't be Gryffindor's hero on one day, spending Christmas with your Slytherin family on the other. There are different times coming, Sirius. Your little cowardly act won't work out much longer-"<br>"I'm not a coward!" Sirius interrupted her, tightening his grip in anger.  
>"Oh, I love that look right now." Bellatrix sniggered. "It proves we are related after all."<br>"Just shut up!", he growled. She laughed.  
>"You know I'm right. You are afraid to choose, but you'll soon have to." Bella said still shaking with laughter. "I personally hope you will choose the other side, it would give me the opportunity to torture you really, really bad."<br>"You are screwed up."  
>"So are you. I just said so."<br>"I'm nothing compared to you."  
>"Well then, if that's the case", Bella giggled, suddenly lifting her head as much as her condition allowed her to, right up to Sirius' ear. "I'll have to screw you up as well." She whispered, her tongue touching his ear.<br>Sirius turned to her in shock. "What the hell –"  
>"Like you said", she interrupted, "I'm screwed up." And with this she forced her lips on his, biting hard on Sirius' lower lip. Sirius hissed in pain and astonishment, hating himself because he knew that this was exactly what Bellatrix had tried to achieve. The Black girl now violently shoved her tongue into her cousin's mouth. Sirius forced her down to the floor again, breaking the kiss. In his shock he had forgot about her legs and Bellatrix used the opinion to fling them around Sirius' waste giving him a wicked smile. She pressed her hips up against his body, pulling him down with her legs while doing so. Sirius panted heavily. He felt this well known arousing sensation run through his body like an electric wave. Merlin be damned, he hated that bitch. That damn beautiful girl, with her long black hair framing her face, the red lips parted seductively, evil intention written all over the pale face. Her eyes reflected the same disgust, desire and demanding. This was just another battle and he would win this one. She might be older but he was sure that he had more experience.<p>

Sirius slammed her body to the floor once again this time getting a satisfying hiss of pain as an answer. He bit down on her neck, tangling one hand up into her hair, pulling very hard. She screamed quite loud, her now free hand immediately clawing into his back. Bellatrix scratched his cheek and forcefully griped his chin to lift his face up to hers. Their tongues fought like wild animals in their mouths, each of them trying to dominate the other. Sirius noted quite annoyed, that he, despite of what he had thought at first, was nowhere ahead of Bella.  
>She was kissing him eagerly. He completely lost track of what he was doing, when she was suddenly throwing him to the ground and sitting on top of him, with a devilish smile on her lips. He felt the tip of a wand pressed against his temple. "Game's over little Sirius." She smirked pouting playfully. "This will teach you. Don't fuck with me. <em>Crucio!<em>"  
>Unbelievable pain shot through Sirius' whole body, his head felt like splitting. Everything was hot, intense pain. He screamed. The last thing he heard before passing out was Bellatrix laughing insanely.<p>

_As always, please tell me what you think. Is this still T rated content? I'm always a bit paranoid about these things._


	4. Narcissa

_Thanks for the favs and lovely reviews! I'm so sorry, I didn't update earlier and I'm even sorrier that this chapter is so short. I'm terribly busy with university at the moment, I hope you understand. _

_This chapter is a bit – I don't know cuter, fluffier? Whatever, please enjoy!_

**Chapter 4 – Narcissa **

When Sirius woke up his whole body was aching. He felt dizzy and when he opened his eyes all he could see was blurry lilac walls and very bright sunlight. He blinked a few times. "Ah, you are awake." He heard an impassive voice from right beside him. With some unexpected pain Sirius shifted his head a bit to look at the small figure sitting at the edge of the sofa he was lying on. Narcissa was looking down on him with a mixture of concern and anger. "What were you thinking?", she exhaled. "You don't mess with Bella. You just don't do it."  
>"I beg your pardon!", Sirius snorted aggravated. "I just protected you."<br>"I didn't ask for your protection and - stay still!", she added pushing him down as he tried to sit up and face her. "I've healed your wounds and put some tincture on the cuts, but you're still in no condition for sudden movements."  
>"I don't understand you. Why do you let her do this? That damn bitch humiliated you, she would have tortured you!" Sirius shouted irritated.<br>"No she wouldn't. Leave her alone." Narcissa's calm voice now had an angry edge to it as well.  
>"Stop defending her. Don't you see what she has done to you?" Sirius yelled, pushing her hand away and sitting upright. He regretted it moments later, when a sharp pain ran through his entire body.<br>"Well at least she cares!" Sirius looked at his younger cousin and to his horror there were tears in her bright blue eyes. He had never seen Narcissa getting teary or whiny. She angrily brushed away the tears, but it was no use. "At least Bella doesn't ignore me. She just wants me to become like her, she wants to help me, since I'm such a failure."  
>Sirius continued to look at her. "What the hell are you talking about?", he asked her.<br>Narcissa got up went over to a desk and stuffed a piece of paper into his hand. "Look at this!", she commanded. Sirius looked down at the paper. It seemed to be an end of term report.  
>"What is your problem?", he asked, not getting her point at all. "That are very good grades, Narcissa. Only one A in Care of magical creatures and you have an O in Potions and charms. Everything else is a straight E. It's good."<br>"Yeah right." Narcissa snorted ironically. "Very good. My sisters had like 7 Os each when they were in their 5th year. There is no such thing as an A for a Black girl. I'm not even a prefect or a member of the quidditch team. I never won any awards or prices; I don't even look like a Black. The only reason why people respect me is because my older sister scared them for good while she was still at school. To my parents I'm just the third daughter and a disappointment. Did you watch them as we arrived? It's like I don't even exist. They treat me like I'm not even there, and Andromeda does the same. She never cared."  
>Sirius put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure they care about you. They love you…" Narcissa brushed his hand away angrily.<br>"You have no idea.", she spat out.  
>"Maybe.", he sighed. "At least that explains why you are such a total bitch at school."<br>She glared at him. Then, flipping her hair back in a familiar and snobbish way she said defensively: "Well, what am I supposed to do? I don't have a lot of friends like you do. So the only ones who hang out with me are people without an own opinion or those who remember Bella telling them to better be nice to me if they don't want to end up dangling from the astronomy tower."  
>"Maybe you should try to find some real friends… in other houses maybe." Sirius suggested. "Yeah right." Narcissa snarled. "Like I want to have anything to do with some blood traitors and moodblood-scum. As if they want to be friends with me anyway."<br>"Why not? I would be your friend, I mean Andromeda and I get along as well."  
>"Don't make me laugh!" Narcissa sneered. "You never talk to Andy in public. You don't give a damn about me anyway… don't deny it!" she went on as Sirius opened his mouth to interrupt her. "Do you even know this is my room? You never came here before, right? Do you know anything about me? Or Bella? Or Andy? Have you ever talked for me for more than ten minutes of forced conversation at the dinner table? You always act like you are the rebellious and cool guy, whose family rejected him, but you never really tried to fit in, did you? You never tried to like us or understand us! Don't you dare to judge Bella, Sirius! And don't you dare to judge me!" She said all this quite calmly but her voice slightly started to quiver in the end. Narcissa got up and turned for the door, but Sirius snatched her wrist.<br>"You are right. I judged you due to shallow assumptions. I'm sorry. I can understand that you love your family and that you want their approval… but don't you see how wrong all this is? All this fanatic pureblood stuff? And you are wrong about Bella. I know her, and I know sides of her that you would not consider so admirable." Narcissa slightly shook her head.  
>"Don't you see?", she whispered. "My family is everything to me. No matter what they believe in, no matter what they do, I would never ever betray them."<br>She fixed him with her gaze, looking both very insecure and hurt but yet determent. Sirius didn't know what to say so he just pulled her towards him and hugged her. Narcissa was clearly startled, but after a second of consideration she leaned her head against his chest and started to sob silently into his shoulder.

It was Andromeda who found them. She opened the door without knocking, talking in the same annoyed tone she always used confronting her younger sister. "Cissy, where have you been? Rudolpus has arrived, Mum and Dad want you to greet him –" She stopped very abruptly. Narcissa jumped up and brought as much distance between her and Sirius with a speed Sirius hadn't thought possible. Sirius tried to catch Andromeda's eye but she was staring at her younger sister who was facing the window. "What?" Narcissa snapped, still with her back turned to her sister. "Tell them I'll be there in a minute, I'll just fix my make-up."  
>Andromeda seemed too startled to retort. She nodded and left the room, leaving the door open. "Stop staring like a goggling gargoyle!", she rounded on Sirius. "I've to fix my make-up, get out!"<br>Sirius shook his head in confusion. He got up and went to the door, but before he left he turned to his little cousin once more. "Gosh, Cissy", he said, smirking slightly, "you're such a bitch."

_As always a review would be appreciated! Thanks for reading._


	5. To be brave

_Sorry again for the late update and thanks again for the reviews!  
>This chapter proved to be more difficult than I expected and to tell you the truth, I am not completely satisfied with it. Nether the less I hope you enjoy it!<em>

**Chapter 5 – To be brave**

Dinner that night definitely classified this Christmas to be the worst in history, or at least in the life of Sirius Black. Sirius couldn't even enjoy the amazing food. He was seated between Narcissa and Regulus across from Bellatrix and Rudolphus; and if Bella had poisoned is drink this time he would have swallowed it gladly. Anything to get out of the dining hall...

Narcissa acted like her usual stuck-up self, not even once giving him so much as glance. On the contrary, she laughed rather unpleasantly every time Regulus or Bellatrix made a cruel joke on his behalf. He was really pissed off by this behavior. Twenty minutes ago she had been sobbing into his shoulder and now she was making fun of him? Fucking bitch! Regulus was worse than ever. He had always idolized the Dark Arts, but by the looks of it, he had found his new hero. Rudolphus and Regulus – who called each other 'Rud' and 'Reg' – seemed to Sirius like a vain rock-star and his over-excited groupie. So Sirius spend most of the time listening to Rud's awesome tips and tricks on how to become the perfect death eater. While he was bragging on and on, Rudolphus constantly threw his curly hair out of his face and shot glances at Bella to see her reaction. Every now and then just looking at his fiancée didn't seem to suffice and he played with her hair or leaned in to kiss her. Watching this made Sirius kind of sick. Bellatrix also made a point of giving Sirius suggestive looks whenever Rudolphus kissed her.

Sirius thought all of this would have been tolerable, if it hadn't been for the pain. His whole body was still aching. Narcissa's ointments had improved his condition, but moving was still exceptionably painful. He tried his best to act as if he was feeling fine. He knew he was failing, whenever he saw Bellatrix smirking at his silent winces of pain.  
>Trying to distract himself he looked down the table and saw that Andromeda wasn't playing her part. She didn't take part in any of the conversations and was looking rather sad, playing with her lamb-stew.<p>

After what seemed hours and hours of torture, the house elves finally arrived to clean up the last dishes. Sirius was just deciding that now was the chance to slip away unnoticed, when an owl came swooping down to Andromeda's side. "No owls at the dinner table, Drom!", his aunt said disapprovingly, "Whose owl is it anyway? I don't recognize it."  
>Sirius saw how his cousin's face grew very pale as she stared down at the letter. She untied it hastily and slipped inside her dress ropes.<br>"Oh", she laughed a bit shakily, "it is just Lucius Malfoy's new owl. I guess he wanted to send me a Christmas Card."  
>Sirius felt someone shift beside him. Looking around he saw that Narcissa was frowning at the owl, her eyes narrowed. Andromeda caught Narcissa's eye for a second and Sirius thought she was giving her sister a desperately pleading look, but then she got up and said in an even and level voice: "I will bring the owl up to my room and feed it, if you allow, mother." Mrs. Black nodded and Mr. Black stood up to announce that they would now settle down by the fireside for a drink. Sirius however did not join his family in the living room but silently followed Andromeda upstairs.<p>

He knocked twice before he entered. Andromeda's room was also decorated with a large Black family crest, but otherwise Sirius had always quite liked it. Like him, Andromeda was a huge Quidditch fan and her room was not hiding that fact.  
>Andromeda's pale and slender figure sitting beside the desk was a frightening contrast to the colorful and cheerful Quidditch players zooming in and out of the posters. She said nothing, so Sirius decided to take the first step.<br>"Look, Andy, I'm really sorry. You were right about me. I never really tried. And I shouldn't have called you a hypocrite. I'm really -"  
>But Andromeda cut across him. "No. <em>You<em> were right. I am a liar, and bad one at that. But I have to, you see? I'm not brave like you, I can't stand up to them. I just can't!"  
>"I'm not brave.", mumbled Sirius. Bellatrix's words were flashing through his head. <em>That's not working. You are Gryffindor's hero on one day, spending Christmas with your Slytherin family on the other. Don't hide behind your false Gryffindor morals!<em>  
>"Don't say that. How can I even try to be brave when you can't be it? You to be brave! Please, for both of us." Andromeda looked at the letter crumpled in her hand and then suddenly she burst out: "I'm in love, Sirius. I've fallen in love with a boy at school and we are dating, but our family must never find out about it, do you understand? They would throw me out of the house, if they knew. They would never look at me again!"<p>

Sirius stared at her for a couple of seconds, completely taken aback. "So I guess it is not Lucius Malfoy you are dating?"  
>She managed a small smile. "It was just the first Slytherin name I could think off. I know Cissa din't buy it. No, he's a muggle born. Ted Tonks, one year above us, in Hufflepuff. Do you know him?"<br>"He is a chaser on their Quidditch Team, isn't he?"  
>Andromeda nodded. "I told him I would write him as soon as I get here, but I was so busy. So I guess he was worried and sent me that owl without thinking!" There was an angry edge to her voice. But then her face softened once more, a tiny smile creeping into her eyes, and Sirius noticed for the first time how very beautiful she was. Very beautiful and so unlike her sisters.<br>"I will do it." Sirius told her firmly. It all seemed very clear now. "I will end this. I will do it for both of us."  
>"Thanks.", she answered.<p>

_Thanks for reading! Pretty, pretty please, tell me what you think!_


	6. Don't you dare to die

Note: _I'm so, so sorry for the long wait, but between Christmas and New Year and exams, I just had other things on my mind._

_So here comes the last chapter. Thanks to all those who have read this whole story and reviewed! It means a lot to me! I hope you in enjoy the last part._

**Last Chapter – Don't you dare to die **

Sirius left his cousin's room, his mind set. He felt a strange elation. Yes, he would finally be free! But there was something he wanted to do before he left this wretched place forever. Sirius turned to walk down the corridor, when he heard Narcissa call after him. "So who was the letter from? I know it wasn't Lucius." He turned to see her leaning against the balustrade. "Thanks for not telling anyone." Her gaze flickered up.  
>"I didn't do it for my sister, I just –" Narcissa started.<br>"Yes, you did. Don't be so desperate to hide everything that makes you moderately likable." Sirius grinned. His cousin frowned. For a moment she looked like she might start argue, but then Narcissa just rolled her eyes. "I was send upstairs to get Andromeda, I think Regulus went looking for you."  
>"Oh good.", said Sirius. "I was just going to look for him myself."<br>"I think you're losing it.", stated Narcissa dryly. "That curse of Bella's must've damaged your brain severely."  
>But Sirius had already gone up to the second landing to look for his brother.<p>

He found him knocking on his guest room door. Upon hearing Sirius approach, Regulus turned around frowning. "I'm supposed to tell you to come down again.", he said crossly.  
>"I will in a minute." Sirius opened the door. "Mind if we talk for a moment."<br>Regulus eyed him very suspiciously. "Why?"  
><em>Because<em>, Sirius thought, _I think you, like Narcissa and Andormeda, may be a good person somewhere deep down. Because I think it is not too late for you, because you are not like Bellatrix.  
><em>But he said: "Don't know, it Christmas, right?" He sat down on the bed.  
>"Right…", Regulus said slowly still looking sharply at him form were he stood leaning in the door frame. Sirius noticed for the first time how very much like him his brother was in appearance. Though slightly smaller and thinner, he had the same dark, shaggy hair, the same high and pronounced cheekbones, the same hard, grey eyes and even the same ever so tiny ever-mocking curve in his lips that made girls go crazy. But he was holding himself differently, always taking as little space as possible. Like an house elf, trying not to draw attention upon himself. Sirius's eyes fell on the deep green shirt Regulus was wearing.<br>"Do you have new Quidditch ropes?"  
>Regulus looked surprised. "Yeah", he said, somewhat unsure. "We bought them for the whole team, just before the end of term."<br>"So, how do you think are Slytherin's chances on winning this season?" Sirius asked conversationally.  
>"Very bad, if you pal Potter doesn't happen to break his neck during practice."<br>Sirius laughed. "Didn't know you could be funny, Reg."  
>"Fuck you.", his brother mumbled. "Just say what you came here to say in the first place!"<br>Sirius sobered immediately. "Do you really want to be a Death Eater?"  
>Regulus lifted an eyebrow. "Yes, I'm pretty sure, I want to."<br>"Why?", Sirius couldn't help that tiny bit of desperation creeping into his voice.  
>Regulus starred at him for a very long time. When he finally answered, he took his time, choosing each word very carefully. "Because I think it would be a nice challenge. And it certainly is the thing to do, if you want to change something. And change is very important. This world would be a much better place if the wizards would rule the muggle world as well. Everything would be so much better. I know <em>he<em> can do it, and I want to be part of it."  
>Sirius was too tired to start yet another argument about right and wrong with a family member, so he just asked: "Is that really what you believe?"<br>Regulus nodded. "Yes, it is. I know you don't agree. I don't care."  
>Sirius stood up. Maybe he had been wrong about his brother, maybe it was already too late for him.<br>"Well, we should go down. Go ahead I'll be there in a minute."  
>Regulus nodded once more and left the room without another word or glance.<p>

Sirius walked into the crowded living room five minutes later, dressed in his traveling cloak, his suitcase in his hand. To his great relief he saw that Rudolphus had already left. Bella too was gone, probably to see him off.  
>"And what do you think you're doing?", his mother snapped as she caught sight of him.<br>"Well, I'm leaving, mother." He was staring fixedly at her; partly because he wanted her to feel his whole contempt, partly because he was too scared to glance at Andromeda or any of the others.  
>"And what is that supposed to mean?", she started to screech.<br>"It means: Goodbye! I would say, it was nice to have known all of you, but I hate to lie. I've had enough of this whole rubbish. One more day with this family and I will go insane for sure!" Sirius said all of this in a rush, still only staring at his mother. He could feel the disbelieving glances of his relatives upon him. It was a suffocating feeling.  
>There was a very long, ringing silence. Then, Mrs. Black started to screech again.<br>"Then get the hell out of here! Don't you dare to come before me again, you piece of trash! You're no longer a son of mine. Now leave before I curse you!"  
>"Is this your final decision?", his uncle asked sharply, his cold blue eyes resting calmly yet hatefully on his nephew. Sirius glared right back and gave one short nod.<br>"If that is so I ask you to leave my house this instance, if you should ever dare to set foot in here again I will most certainly kill you."  
>"That's no problem" Sirius responded just as coolly. He felt a sudden rush of relief. He had finally done it. He turned on his heels, now facing his brother and two younger cousins who had silently and quite aghast witnessed the drama. His eyes fell first on Andromeda's beloved face. Her soft, dark eyes held his gaze and offered comfort and understanding. She gave him just the tiniest nod of appreciation and he knew that she as well had decided to leave this place and family for good in near future. Breaking free from her look his eyes fell on Narcissa's beautiful and cold features. For just a fraction of a heartbeat her light blue eyes met his. Confusion, sadness and anger gleaming in them, but then she arranged her expression back into the frozen mask of perfection and looked away. Regulus stared at him in disbelief. Envy, rage and revulsion mirrored in the eyes that were so much like his brother's, but also the tiniest bit of admiration for the thing his older brother just did. But maybe Sirius just imagined that.<p>

The heavy oak door slammed shut. The dark night surrounded him like a velvet cloak, the cool air somehow made everything seem so simple. He should have done this long ago. His footsteps crackled as he made his way down the stone path.  
>"An exit worthy of a brave Gryffindor hero.", sneered a familiar voice from the shadow of a tree. Sirius stopped abruptly. He should have known. "I only acted on your advice, Bella. I chose my side."<br>Bellatrix laughed humorlessly.  
>"There is no point in trying to stop me or make me change my mind." Sirius said firmly.<br>"As if I would try to.", she jeered taking a few steps out of the shadows. "You know, I just _love_ to hate you. This way it is so much more interesting and satisfying to hate you. I'm not particularly keen on spending every holiday with you either."  
>Sirius turned. "Don't act all tough, Bell.", he mocked, "You can admit that you are mad at me for breaking your heart."<br>"Yeah right.", she snarled. "That's my line, bloodtraitor."  
>"Oh I forgot, you don't even have a heart, do you?"<br>"Oh I do. But I already gave it away", she retorted.  
>Sirius lifted his eyebrows. This statement didn't fit his cruel, merciless cousin at all. "To Rudolphus?"<br>Bellatrix broke into laughter. The shrill, rattling sound made Sirius shiver.  
>"Rudolphus?", she giggled almost girlishly. "Oh no, dear cousin" Suddenly her voice changed. Soft, deep and sweet, a little hoarse; it was the most terrifying sound Sirius had heard this evening. "To him, <em>the Dark Lord<em>." Bellatrix whispered the words, as though they were fragile beings and speaking them without care would cause them to shatter. He could almost sense something like love in them.  
>"You are disgusting."<br>Bellatrix just chuckled. "I probably am.", she mused as if she was actually giving this statement some serious thought. "But you will pay, dear Sirius." She sighed sarcastically. "You are just a piece of trash, a traitor and you will be treated like one." Then she added speaking softly "I will kill you."  
>"Very charming offer, Bellatrix." He saw her curling her lips.<br>"I'm serious, Sirius", she yet again chuckled girlishly. "I am going to kill you. You always were a worthy opponent. I'm looking forward to it."  
>Sirius laughed. "So why don't you do it now? Are you afraid or are there actually feelings or family bonds to hold you back?"<br>Bellatrix clicked her tongue and sniggered. "Still any hope left? Then let me crush it. I want to relish that moment, when your day has come. It is not now. You shall see the Dark Lord rise, shiver in fear and then when you have realized how wrong your decision was, I will have mercy on you and end your pitiful life."  
>And with a dreamy tone to her voice she whispered more to herself than to him "I will be the last thing you see on this earth. I want to see the light fading from your eyes, I will tear your hurt and ripped soul out and watch it flutter away."<p>

Sirius would have liked to see the look in her eyes but it was too dark and her hair hid most of her face. He noticed he never paid attention to her eye-color, he tried to remember but he had no idea if they were blue like Cissy's, brown like Andromeda's or steal-grey like his.  
>"Well, till we meet again then Bella." He said, turning.<br>"See ya.", she called as her walked out of the iron gate, "And don't you dare to die before I find you. You would spoil the greatest moment of my life."

Years later when Bellatrix fulfilled her promise, the last thing Sirius saw was the victorious flicker in his cousin's insane eyes. The most unfitting color, he thought, falling through the vale. A pair of chocolate colored eyes, which had lost every trace of humanity, followed his fall, gleaming in the green light of the curse and in euphoric triumph.

_That's it. One last review, pretty please?_


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